Whether you’ve been married for just a few months or several years, divorce is hard on everyone. When there are children involved, the level of complication only rises exponentially. Regardless of whether there was a major betrayal involved or a couple just simply “grew apart” over the years, divorces can quickly and easily become messy, complicated, highly emotional affairs. No divorce is ever truly easy but there are certainly ways to make things more or less complicated. Here are four tips for those going through a divorce.
1. Consult an attorney early on
Too many couples assume that consulting a divorce lawyer is, in and of itself, the death knell of their marriage. Contrary to popular opinion, however, most divorce lawyers would rather see a marriage repaired than severed. In fact, many couples that consult an attorney end up discovering that fixing their marital problems may, in fact, be a far simpler solution than getting a divorce. The sooner you consult a divorce attorney, the more you know what your options are and the better you can plan the course of action that is right for you.
2. Set good boundaries
Even the most amicable divorces will inevitably pull up a dizzying array of emotions. Going through a divorce is essentially the polar opposite of falling in love. The emotions involved in separating are every bit as strong and confusing, but they are often painful. It can be easy to want to lash out in pain one minute and then think you are making a huge mistake the next. All of which your spouse is going through at the same time. The important thing is to not act on sudden impulses as they come. Setting good boundaries can help you keep from acting impulsively and then regretting it later. As much as possible, any communication during this time should happen between divorce lawyers or other trusted intermediaries or in the presence of adult third parties such as family therapists or parenting coordinators.
3. Take time for self-care
Again, no matter how amicable a divorce may be, it is still a painful ending. As strange as it may seem, eating a healthy diet, getting lots of good exercises and spending time with family and friends will go a long way towards helping you ease the pain and work through painful emotions. Sleep may be difficult at times but doing your best to get plenty of rest will also help carry you through this painful time.
4. Explore your options
There are a wide range of services available to divorcing couples these days, as well as different options for severing your marriage. Parenting coordinators can help couples maintain good boundaries by working as an intermediary to help couples keep from unconsciously making their children pawns in their divorce. A collaborative divorce can also help make the severing of legal ties more amicable. A collaborative divorce is a negotiation process that takes place between the couple. Rather than having the court simply make arbitrary binding decisions, collaborative divorces are more like a custom-made divorce created by the couple. This allows them to create a plan that best meets the unique and individual needs of their family.
The tools you use to sever a marriage will determine how much pain and anguish is involved. If you try and sever it with dull tools like a butter knife, you will simply prolong the agony. Using a sharp saw to sever the tie will result in a faster and more painless procedure. Tampa divorce attorneys can help you sever your legal ties with the least amount of pain and anguish possible